How to Write a Letter to a Long-Lost Family Member

Writing a letter to an old friend or family member you haven’t seen in years can be a daunting task. However, if that person is someone you miss and want to learn more about, writing a letter can be a great way to reconnect. It can be a nice letter of gratitude, a letter offering condolences, or a letter professing your love for someone.

What would you say to a friend who hadn’t seen you in years? How would you know you were seeing an old friend till the hugs came almost involuntarily? That’s exactly how it felt when I recently reconnected with my long-lost aunt. It was like no time had passed. We talked for hours and shared stories of our lives. You’d think the best time would have been when she came to live with us a few years ago, but those moments with her live fresh in my mind and my heart, too. And when the time comes, I want to remember her, not mourn her passing.

Wouldn’t it be amazing if you could sit down and write a letter to a loved one who lives far away, who you haven’t seen for 20 years? Maybe it’s your grandmother, who’s moved to another state, or a distant cousin, who you just saw for the first time in quite a while. Writing a letter to your loved ones is a great way to convey your thoughts or just to let them know that you’re thinking of them.

Tips For Creating a Thoughtful Letter to Long Lost Family Member

Start writing the letter

Opening a letter to a long-lost family member is a risky move. You may feel a burst of emotions, but they are often mixed with sadness, regret, and guilt. But if you’re motivated to reach out, whether to re-establish a relationship or to thank a family member, then sitting down to write the letter could be the first step to healing.

Include small gifts 

There are ways to write to long-lost family members, even if you don’t know their gender. And there are a few ways you can show your friend or family member you care, even if you aren’t sure of their gender. While writing your note, think about what gifts you would enjoy receiving. Perhaps coffee or a gift card to your favorite coffee shop. Or, if you’re a foodie, maybe a gift certificate to your favorite restaurant.

Include photos or art 

Whatever you’re writing, though, there are a couple of things to keep in mind. First, be sure to include a photo or piece of art. Photos and artwork are personal and give your letter a personal touch. Second, don’t write a long letter, though feel free to include lots of pictures and stories. (This part can be difficult—we’ve sent emails containing hundreds of photos to family members, and it felt impossibly long.)

Write about the things you remember.

Start by remembering the highlights of your relationship with the deceased, whether it was just a brief relationship or a longtime friendship. Remember funny stories, important moments, and family vacations you shared. Write about those things you remember, as they will help you remember those people for you.

Include a self-addressed envelope

A letter is one of the best gifts you can ever give to someone, and in the case of an apology letter, it’s the perfect way you can express regret and make amends. Unfortunately, sometimes we are estranged from family members and have little to no contact with them, and a letter is the best way to get a message to them.

Ancestry, for example, is a resource for everything related to genealogy and family history. You can access historical records, conduct research, and even connect with long-lost family members. Not to mention, you can use it to learn more about your ancestry, discover relatives you never knew about, and uncover stories about your family that you never knew.

One great way to improve your relationships with family members is by writing them a letter. Writing a letter to a family member can establish new, deeper connections, which can make your time together more meaningful. If you wrote a letter in the past, but need to update it, now is a perfect time.

There will be a more permanent, meaningful solution to your issue. You have many decisions to make, but the most important thing is that you have hope. Think about all the people in your life who love you and who support you. Your family’s wishes for your good health are as valid as anyone’s. Share the letter with them, and reach out to them.

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