When I was in art school, I never really thought about how I was going to make a living after I graduated. This was partly my own naivete, partly the lack of business education at the conceptual art school I attended, and partly being scared shitless at the thought of having to find a real Day Job.
I have yet to consistently make a living with photography. Occasionally I pick up an assignment or sell the use of an image or a print here and there, but not enough to survive. And in this economic downswing, it’s even tougher to find photo-related gigs. I know some photographers who make a living doing commercial work, and I admire them for it; I lack that ability to hustle. A while ago, I was pondering the option of getting an MFA and whether or not it made any sense financially. Because let’s face it, if I jumped in now, how would I pay back the student loans after I got that diploma?
So, you could say I could use another skill. The thing is, I’ve never been good at working jobs that seem completely arbitrary. One of the reasons I often end up working customer service is that I love to help people. Some jobs, though, make this seem so completely futile that it makes me want to slit my wrists. I once worked at a store that made photo books marketed to upper class clientele. The atmosphere made it feel like I was selling cars; it wasn’t about the love of pictures or books, it was just about appeasing rich people. Twitter, on the other hand, was a great experience because I believe in the product (for starters, it’s free and anyone can use it) and I actually got to help people. That got me thinking more about what I want to do in my life and how I can make a “day job” into something that is meaningful to me, on a more permanent basis. It would have to be something flexible that I could balance with making pictures.
Once I got to Santa Fe, I knew almost instantly this was the right place to take the next step. I had no idea what that meant, and I definitely didn’t realize how quickly it would begin. Last week I started massage school at the well-regarded Scherer Institute. It was a very quick decision and I’m still reeling from it somewhat. The experience has already been incredibly intense on a number of personal levels. I feel so impacted by what I’ve been learning already. Even during these first few days, I’ve been going through an emotional upheaval that I don’t know how to explain. I am continually questioning whether or not I can do this and have to keep reminding myself that I am capable of anything if I just allow myself the process. Already I can see that massage is a creative and intensely rewarding craft. I am scared out of my fucking mind but totally excited for what I’ll have learned when I come out on the other side of this. I guess that’s how I know I’m on the right path, even if it’s a blind curve.
So a year from now I’ll be ready to become a licensed massage therapist. I’m going to school part-time, on evenings and weekends, so I can still have room for photographing and hopefully a photo-related job. (Hello out there? Hire me please.) It doesn’t mean I won’t work in photography or that I’ll photograph less; it’s about a new experience in my life that I feel will not only help foster my visual expression, but help fund it as well. Here’s hoping, anyway.
